Mandanaism

Every brave knight is in need of a belief to cling to, especially during those moments when ye may be on the floor with two broken legs, trying to defend thineself from an angry Eileen Gallagher wielding a hole punch, and the Knights of the Dodecohedronal Table be no exception. This true faith is naturally Mandanaism, being the eternal following of the one and only Fair One. However, 'tis not only the Knights which are eligble to join this faith. It has many other subscribers also, and has the ability to touch the lives of many. Through a special form of magic known as 'Shed', this faith can reach into your living room and touch hearts. It is unstoppable and already has changed the lives of many; I may add, changed them for much the better. This faith lives within it's members, it has no need for elaborate buildings or briefcases for promotion. Therefore, I am not going to preach the virtues of Mandanaism, I will instead provide those interested with the teachings of the faith. I will also provide those disinterested with them, however, it is doubtful that they will read them.

(NB. This is not some strange cult... it is just a bit of fun. If you want to join a cult go and pay your membership for the choir or the gym or something)

The teachings of Mandanaism

Ye must never spell the Fair One's name 'Madnana'. 'tis easy to do and makes our heroine sound like some sort of insane yellow fruit.

Ye must tune in to ye noble television channel ITV at ye twenty-first hour on Tuesdays.
Prior to this, ye must check with ye Radio Times that Bad Girls is on, otherwise ye may find Peak Practice.

Ye must also video the same programme and watch select parts many times after. Select parts are defined by the presence of the Fair One. Ye must watch until ye can recite ye scenes from memory.

Ye must endure bad acting, bad props, bad special effects and none-existent continuity in ye search for, 'A Price on His Soul', the episode of Robin Hood which The Fair One appeared in.

Ye must stick pictures of ye Fair One around ye sleeping quarters and provide decent excuses when parents/housemates question ye on the aforementioned items.

Ye must make considerable detours when out shopping to enter the realms of every video shop in town. Ye must then search out the Bad Girls videos in order to stare at The Fair One even though you posess both box sets already. Leave before ye get arrested.

Ye must run up huge phonebills on ye Larkhall Insider message board.

Ye must involuntarily quote the Fair One during conversation. It should be noted that this often instigates strange looks. Use phrases such as, 'I want to make love to you all night long', and, 'You're as bad as he is *slap*', sparingly to avoid ye men in white coats.

Ye must buy a red top.