The Fair One!

The Fair One is central to our mighty crusades and drive for victory. She is the sole reason for the presence of this mighty band of warriors going by the name of The Knights of the Dodecohedronal Table.

The Fair One is also known by the name of Mandana Jones, and unfortunately is often thought elusive by her many fans and admirers. You can read here about the Origin of the name 'Mandana'. 'tis commonly thought that The Fair One stands a grand 5'9 and has looks that are to die for, accountable to an Iranian mother perhaps?

A number of different guises have swathed our Fair One over the years, in addition to the one of Mandana Jones known most well. After a stint of appearing in Shakespeare's plays, our heroine has been spotted portraying a doctor, a henchbeast and most recently a prisoner. If I may be so bold my friends, I would call this but a varied career. (I would at this point say, This is but a varied career, but it's been done). Read some of the Best Lines ever uttered by our Fair One.

The guise of Dr Sam Heynes was to be beheld by any mortal soul lucky enough to have access to ye Carlton Television program London Bridge. Unfortunately, Sir Justus was not among these privileged few on account of his humble castle being situated far from the action in a remote part of Yorksire, and spending too much on his shiny new suit of reinforced armour to be able to afford the modern miracle known as Cable. 'tis true therefore, that knowledge of the afforementioned programme is quite noticably limited to the fact that it starred our Fair One, alongside a fellow budding actress called Simone Lahbib. Any good souls whom have extensive knowledge on the subject (that is, extensive in relation to mine), I implore you find friend... help me!

A second incarnation of our Fair maiden was to be slightly more random in essence. Our fair and innocent heroine did don much pink alongside alarmingly furry legs and cloven hooves. I assure you fine surfers, twas a sight to behold! But lo! The tale heightens. This Woman Henchbeast was also one of the undead, to be seen involved in numerous fist fights, the throwing around of unsuspecting sheep and an incredibly badly dubbed American accent. To this day 'tis nigh on impossible for I to speak of it without screwing up mine features tiny enough to fit on the underneath of a stamp. Ye sheep do not trouble me so much, and ye hooves can be tolerated, but DUBBING OVER THAT VOICE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 'tis a matter for the knights surely? Indeed, had the Knights been in opperation at that time, the skewering of The Fair One such as a kebab, on metal spikes would have been a matter worthy of The Warburtonator, Harry the Psychic Sword, Excablier and The Explosive Crayola- ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

By far ye most famed guise in which The Fair One has been beheld is that of prisoner Nikki Wade in ye great ITV series Bad Girls. Mine humble opinion, which, I do belive echoes many of my fellow's, is that this feat of the modern magic known as TV is what could be branded, fabaroonie. The Fair One stars superbly and is involved in gripping storylines, most nicely connected with the object of Nikki's affection- Helen Stewart, the Wing Governor. This gallant Lady did at first attempt to resist the charms of our maiden, however, after many of those moments commonly known as, Edge of Seat Stuff, did succumb and become our Nikki's lover. Consequently also, the envy of many, and the EX-Wing Governor.

Many quality Fair One moments were to be had within the confines of Larkhall Prison. But behold! Also without the confines. Our heroine did don ye dodgy blonde wig in efforts to escape her cell. 'twas hilarious. Also she did don ye eternal red top. 'twas not quite so hilarious.

Ye main mission of these bold knights is to ensure that The Fair One takes her rightful place in the upcoming phenomenon which is to be known throughout this noble kingdom as Bad Girls 3. Behold ye powers that be at Shed Productions; The Fair One must feature IN EVERY EPISODE, otherwise there will be trouble from ye dreaded force known as Mr Pointy! 'tis seen that you are shaking already.